The Joys of Getting Hard

Every day I spend some quality “me time” getting hard. It’s a habit I have maintained since I was in my teens.  So far, my daily regimen of getting hard has paid handsome dividends with regards to my health, my appearance, my self confidence and my sex life. Getting hard on a daily basis also [...]

A Lifetime Spent Thundering Down the Highway to Hell

I found the on-ramp to the Highway to Hell when I was very young. Back then, I was still poor and still innocent (at least innocent compared to the jaded, “been everywhere, done everything and fucked everybody” beast I eventually became). I had no appreciation of the emotional wilderness I was about to enter as [...]

Penetrating the Thai Condom Market

The People of Thailand Sometimes Wear Condoms as Fashion Accessories Thai cultural watchdogs recently banned a line of condoms named after a popular Thai  country singer, Tom Dundee. The name was deemed too suggestive for Thai consumers because “Dundee” means “good penetration” in the Thai language.  Dundee, whose real name is Puntiva Poomiprates, says he lent [...]

SPLOOGE COUNTDOWN!

(A Late Night Cable TV Reality Game Show) [The lively Splooge Countdown game show musical theme cranks up as the Klieg lights come on illuminating the brightly colored set. The audience applauds enthusiastically as the curtains at the rear of the set part briefly and the host, a young man wearing a fashionable dark blazer [...]

The Life and Times of Reverend Hornibastard

The Very Reverend Hornibastard 1952: Motivated by a profoundly infantile urge to be near his mama, Reverend Hornibastard is born in Texas within sight of the Alamo.   1955: At the tender age of three, the intrepid future deacon of depravity begins shaving and sprouts thick mats of pubic hair in all the right places and [...]

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